Sometimes I can't believe the things that come out of Bryan's mouth.
There
have been moments where I have legitimately worried about peeing my
pants because I'm laughing so hard and others where *facepalm* becomes a
real thing.
I started documenting my favorite quotes, which I will now share with you. You're welcome ;) When confronted about his fear of butterflies
"I'm not afraid of them, they're just
pointless. What do bees do? They pollinate flowers. What do butterflies do?
They just float around and go 'oh yeah, look at me I'm a whore.'"
"Whoa! Oh... I totally thought that Corgi
was a tiger."
Me:
"Seymor nooo."
Bryan: "He's giving you a hug Kat. He does it
every morning."
Me: "I don't think you understand the concept of a
hug."
Bryan: (pause) "...it's a hug Kat. Don't be a bitch."
Bryan: "I've got acid and hate running
through my veins."
Me: "Yeah, that must be why you asked for a Pixar
movie for Christmas."
Bryan: (pause) "...looks like a damned good
movie."
Bryan: "Oh my god. Kat! Can we get a
fish?! Can we? Can I get a fish? Can I Kat? Can I?!"
Me: "She's not THAT big."
Bryan:
"Yes huh! She's cupcaking! Or loafing... what's it called?"
Me:
"'Muffin-topping' Bryan..."
"That sounds awfully romantic...
sounds like something I would say if I had a boner."
"No kitty! Approaching it from another
angle isn't going to get you any SOUP!"
Me: “Greyhounds are so skinny. I want to
feeeeeed them.”
Bryan: “They love being skinny Kat! It’s cause they run all the
time. They run and run and run. That's why they named them after those buses.”
After Seymor got fixed.
Me: "He's going to be tired."
Bryan: "Uh, yeah. He just had major surgery."
Me: "Minor surgery,
Bryan."
Bryan: "GETTING YOUR TESTICLES CUT OFF IS MAJOR SURGERY
KAT!"
Hey guys :) Hope you're having a good week so far!
"Hurricane" by Midnight Cinema
I posted about my love for Thriving Ivory a LOOOOONG time ago.
But I'll have you all know: it's undying and eternal.
'Midnight Cinema' is a new group that the guys from Thriving Ivory have put together, and it's pretty awesome. It reminds me a lot of their old stuff, but definitely seems a little bit happier.
Happy Monday :)
The weekend was super productive. I slept till about 10:15am (both days), went to Target and bought more junk food than I care to mention, and watched a movie. (sarcasm is fun ;)
Erin and I wanted to watch something scary, and thanks to the fact that she actually has cable (she's fancy;) we were able to find something that neither of us had seen.
Which means it's time for another review :)
Erin and I wanted to see this one when it was released in theaters, but thanks to the fact that her husband isn't a fan of the horror/thriller genre ("My blood pressure!") and my husband hates going to the movies, we never actually went.
We found it on demand and decided that today was the day.
Mama is about two young girls readjusting to life after spending years of isolation in the woods after being abandoned by their father. After five years of searching (funded by their uncle), the girls are found alive, but extremely feral and malnourished.
Promptly following their rescue, the girls (Victoria and Lilly) were taken to a wellness clinic to rehabilitate.
During their stay they fall into the care of Dr. Dreyfuss, who is the first to break through their silence and find out about what happened in the woods.
When explaining the girls' progress to Lucas (their uncle), he explains that in order to survive the girls created a fictional maternal protective figure, aka "Mama."
After months of psychiatric care and monitoring, Dr. Dreyfuss helps Lucas and his girlfriend Annebel win custody of the girls. He allows them to move into one of the clinic's houses, in exchange for letting him continue to study the girls.
But as Victoria and Lilly become more acquainted with everyday life, strange things begin happening around the house. Their new guardians are forced to wonder about Mama, and if she is really as fictional as they all thought.
This movie is based on the Argentine "Mamá", a three minute short written and directed by the same man who wrote and directed the feature length film. The movie was produced by Guillermo del Toro, the same guy who did Pans Labyrinth (haven't seen it yet) and El Orfanato (AMAZING MOVIE).
Let's get to the review ;)
Despite the fact that the girls are in the entire movie, I feel that the real main character is Annabel.
Little bit of background:
Annabel doesn't like kids. At all. You can tell from the very beginning.
She's in a rock band, has her friends and her habits, and doesn't want that to change. But she loves Lucas, so when he received custody of the girls, she went along for the ride. They all moved into the house together, but it was clear that she had no intention of being motherly to these girls.
A little before the halfway point of the movie, something happens (vague I know, but spoilers :/) that forces Annabel to take care of the girls on her own, something she is nowhere ready for.
I hated the SHIT out of Annabel when the movie started. She just has such a shitty attitude.
To be fair, I don't hate kids so I can't completely understand her state of mind, but I still feel that even if you did you wouldn't be a complete asshole to one. She's very cold and distant, hardly something good for a couple of girls that GREW UP IN THE GOD DAMNED WILDERNESS. I mean, if you don't like kids you don't like kids, that's fine, to each their own, but don't volunteer to be a large part of their life and then treat them like shit.
But as I'm sure you've guessed, she gets a lot better through out the course of the movie. She grows as a person and begins to care about the girls, just like every other movie with a kid hater thrust into guardianship.
Good news for all :)
Okay, enough of that. I don't want to give anything away.
Let's talk about the horror.
This movie on a scale from one to ten is probably only a 6-7 (8 for those worrying about their "blood pressure";) when it comes to the actual scare factor. Mama is one of those creatures that are really scary until you see them. And then it's still creepy and like "oh my god if that thing was coming at my I'd FREAK THE FUCK OUT", but the mystery is gone, which is what made it so scary to begin with. There is hardly any blood, and the scariest thing BY FAR are the sounds that Mama makes :S (crunch, crack, snap) I really think if you get down to it it's more of a supernatural thriller, not a horror movie.
I absolutely LOVED the story.
Lately (and by lately I mean like the last 10 years), I feel like horror movies are all about gore and shock factor and less about the actual story behind what's going on. Which is a real shame, because a terrifying story trumps a gross visual any day of the week. This one was different, and it was something I really liked.
There were no gaping plot holes, no vague explanation of what was going on and the conclusion wasn't a total cop out. The ending actually made me really sad, but it was a hard truth that can only come from a good story.
The actors did a really good job, especially the girls. The youngest one didn't talk very much, so most of her character was just facial expressions and body language.
I also really REALLY enjoyed the score.
It had a nice sort of wondrous feel to it. It reminded me of Danny Elfman's score for Edward Scissorhands: magical, mystical, the sort of thing that you imagine when you listen to a fairytale.
Overall, I'm going to give it a 4 :)
What should I review next?
What did you think about Mama?
Okay, it's not Tuesday.
We're actually the furthest from Tuesday that we could be.
But I heard this song today and love it SO much that I just had to post about it:
"Nights Like This" by Eli "Paperboy" Reed
I've been Hulu-ing it up for the last few days (Bob's Burgers binge;) and have actually been stuck watching commercials for the first time in forever.
This song is in the new Toyota RAV4 commercial and is catchy as fuck!
Seriously, every once in a while I'll come across a melody that just clicks with my brain and I can't get enough. Examples include "Helena" by My Chemical Romance, "Here (In Your Arms)" by Hellogoodbye, "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3 and now this ;)
Hey guys :)
I stumbled on something fun this weekend and thought it would be great for Tunesday ;)
"I Knew You Were Trouble" performed by Rixton
(Taylor Swift Cover / Response)
So... confession time.
Taylor Swift drives me a little crazy. Like, not in an active way, it's more of an annoyance that stays dormant until awoken. Every time I hear a song about how she got screwed over my skin crawls just a little bit. It's like, it seems like you get effed over A LOT, how are you not used to it by now?
Rixton did a "response" to "I Knew You Were Trouble", and it's just wonderful.
Also this, this is hilarious:
Plus she's a bad sport.
She freaked out about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler making a joke at the Golden Globes, and that's just where I draw the line.
So, I debated whether or not to feature this one on "Cinefile" simply because I'm wasn't sure if it was considered a movie.
It's stuck in between being a feature length film and a short with a run time of 56 minutes, but reminds a bit of a show, especially since the long awaited sequel is being referred to as an "episode".
But for the sake of the column, we're calling it a movie for now.
Let's start with a summary.
The Devil's Carnival follows the stories of three individuals who have died and been sent to hell.
They are all there for separate sins they committed in life, and all seem to have no idea where they are or how they got there. Based loosely on Aesop's Fables, each "guest" is faced with a chance to redeem themselves, but are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
The carnival is ran by Satan himself, and each tale is assisted and reenacted by his musical and somewhat terrifying band of carnies.
Let me just start with this: I really REALLY wanted to like this movie.
The Devil's Carnival comes from the mind of Terrance Zdunich, the same man who created Repo! The Genetic Opera, one of my guilty pleasure musicals. I didn't even know it existed until I stumbled upon it on IMDb.
I knew I needed to see it, but was nervous about whether or not I'd enjoy it. Like Repo!, it seems that everyone who has seen this movie has either loved it or hated it, with very little mixed feelings in the middle. All of the people I got to watch Repo! absolutely hated it, which is a real bummer because I thought it was really cool and original.
But, keeping my doubts tucked in the back of my mind, I set out to watch it anyway.
Let me just start by saying that this movie is visually stunning.
The make up and costuming is absolutely beautiful, and the cinematography is vibrant and colorful. It was a delightful surprise, considering that Repo! was really dark and the few colors that made it through the gloom were washed out and subtle.
I also really enjoyed that the make up in the film was 100% real (no CGI) and that you could still see some of the seams. I kind of felt like I was watching a play close up. It reminds me of older movies, back before special effects were in EVERYTHING.
But let's talk about the story a little bit. (WARNING: The following may contain spoilers. I'm going to be as vague as possible though, promise)
The three "guests" of the carnival are John (a grieving father), Ms. Merrywood (a kleptomaniac) and Tamara (a mistreated girlfriend). At the very beginning of the movie, it shows how each of them met their end, just before they wake up at the carnival. John commits suicide, Ms. Merrywood dies in a shoot out with the police, and Tamara is murdered by her angry boyfriend. None of it is actually shown, but it's all implied.
Something that I had a little bit of trouble with right off the bat: "Why the hell is Tamara in hell?"
Merrywood and John I can kind of understand. Ms. Merrywood was a greedy jewel thief who would steal whatever she could get her hands on. And John, John was a nice guy but he committed suicide, which I've heard is a no-no when it comes to eternal salvation. Them I understand.
But Tamara? What did she do to go to hell?
Based on what is presented at the beginning of the movie, the only thing Tamara is guilty of is having bad taste in men. Just before he shoots her, Tamara is seen trying to get away from her boyfriend by hopping into her car. Her boyfriend is banging on the windows begging for her forgiveness, stating that "it'll never happen again." When she refuses him entry, he draws a gun and tells her that she has until the count of three.
Next thing you know, she's in hell. What gives?
Shortly after her arrival, Tamara finds a young man locked in a cage. He asks for her help to escape, and she complies. When he gets out of the cage, it's easy to see that he fits in the stereotypical "bad boy" mold: leather jacket, boots, tattoos, ripped up shirt, and smoking a cigarette. He looks a lot like a greaser, for lack of a better example. He explains that he used to have a knife throwing act, but that he lost his "wheel gal". When asked how, he replied with "it doesn't matter, you're prettier anyhow."
I'm not going to go into detail about the rest of their encounter together (just for the sake of spoilers), but let's just say that she trusts this new man almost instantly despite his shady aura, and things don't exactly end well for the young lady.
It goes on later to show that Tamara seems to have trouble with this sort of thing. She blindly trusts men who give her attention, leaving her mistreated and abused when things go south.
The fable used to illustrate Tamara's worldly mistakes was "The Scorpion and the Frog". Long
story short, a scorpion asks a frog for a ride across a river. The
frog, knowing fully well what the scorpion was capable of, asks "how do I
know you won't sting me?" The scorpion replied "because if I do, I will
drown." The frog, against her better judgement allows the scorpion to
ride on her back across the river. And surprise surprise, the scorpion goes back on its word and stings her, dooming them both.
The moral is that scorpions will always act within their nature, as do many other creatures and people in the world. I think Lucifer said it best: "Never trust a scorpion, lest you be pricked."
Here's my beef: Yes, she obviously had horrific taste in men. Yes, she clearly had some problems with her self esteem, which is why she had horrific taste in men. But is that something that really makes you worthy of damnation?
When I think about hell I think about murders and rapists and people who hurt innocent people. I can understand the use of the deadly sin (Merrywood's greed), and John's whole suicide thing, but I just can't see why a naive girl belongs in hell.
Okay, end rant.
My only other complaint with this movie is that it's a little hard to follow.
I am well known for total focus when I'm watching a new movie. Whenever I go to the theater, my eyes never leave the screen. I don't talk (that much), my phones off (not on vibrate, OFF) and I don't even go to the bathroom. The crazy thing is I never really have to, I'm so locked into the movie. But with this one I had trouble. I mean, it's not like you're completely oblivious when you're watching, there's just bits where you have to stop and go, "wait, what?"
It's probably because a lot of the dialogue is sung or spoken with metaphors and allegory.
I've watched parts of the movie over again, and the more I watch the easier it is to understand.
I really just think it's one that you have to see more than once.
Last but not least we have the music. Although I didn't enjoy the music in this one as much as I did in Repo!, it was still a wonderfully electric soundtrack. Lots of energy and wonderful writing.
Overall, I think I'm going to go with 3 stars :)
Luckily, this movie has recently been added to Netflix so you can check it out with ease :) Leave your comments about how you felt about the movie below. Did you hate it? Did you love it? Let me know ;)
Today, we embarked on a fishing adventure. I hadn't been since I was a kid, and even though I'm a horrible fisher(wo)man, I had a great time being out and about and discovering more of Virginia's natural beauty.
We didn't really catch anything, but I got lots of pictures ;)
Frank was the only one who caught anything, and sadly he (she?) had to be thrown back anyway.
I saw 3 little water snakes, which were cute and terrifying all at the same time (I liked when they poked their little heads out of the water :). The guys saw a really big poisonous snake on one of the trails, something I was grateful to miss. Not going to lie guys, I would've lost my shit. When it comes to legless lizards, I'm a way less bad ass version of Indiana Jones.
It was also really cool because it reminded me of all the great time I had with my grandpa when I was little.
He was the one who actually taught me how to fish, and even though I wasn't really into it as a kid (and still not super into it now), it's always something that I'll fondly remember. The flannel shirt Bryan is wearing in all the pictures was actually one of his :) I like to think that he'd be proud.
I don't know if I've ever talked about it before, but my hair is getting CRAZY long.
Until recently, my hair hadn't passed my shoulders since I was 8 years old.
I started growing it out in 2011 for my wedding (more hair = more updo possibilities ;) and haven't cut it since. I mean, I've gotten it trimmed, but that hardly counts.
Now it reaches the bottom of my rib cage and I absolutely love it.
Just one little problem:
I actually have to find new ways to do my hair now.
When it was short I didn't have to do anything. I could just roll out of bed and it would look cute. Now I have to brush it all the time (and ALOT) and style it in all these different ways so I don't always look the same. So whenever I see new ways to make curling or styling your hair easier, I get really excited.
Which brings us to:
My Adventures with Curlformers
I saw a tutorial for these things about a month ago and freaked out. How has no one thought of this before? It's such a simple idea yet this is the first I've ever heard about it (maybe I'm just out of the loop).
But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me first explain about the product for anyone else that is still out of the know.
Curlformers are flat, hollow spirals made out of plastic mesh with rubber-like ends.
They are sturdy but flexible and are used to curl hair without heat.
Each kit comes with a set of Curlformers (there are different kinds and quantities), and a hair hook. How they work is simple, but since it's probably easier to see than to read about, I'm going to post the tutorial that I found:
Basically, slide the Curlformer onto the hook, use the hook to grip a section of hair, and slide your hair into the Curlformer. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
I ordered a knock off set about 2 weeks ago (the name brand ones are a little expensive for something I had never tried before), and have learned a few things that I wanted to share with anyone who wants to start using these things.
1. Watch ALL the youtube tutorials.
Obviously I'm exaggerating, you can't possibly watch ALL of them. But watch a couple of them at least, you won't be sorry. Since I ordered the knock offs, they didn't come with any sort of instructions. Luckily, I had already watched like 6 different tutorials (not exaggerating this time) and I knew exactly what to do. I believe that the real ones come with paper instructions, but nothing really compares to seeing the process in motion.
2. It really does take some practice.
When I got these in the mail I got started almost immediately. It took a really long time and I got really frustrated and I almost gave up. But like almost anything else, practice makes perfect and it's getting easier every time I use them.
3. Do NOT force your hair through the Curlformer.
While you're figuring out how to get them into your hair, the hook is going to get stuck. It's inevitable. But do not, and I mean do NOT force the hook through. The second it catches, stop and get your hair out. Brush through the section to get rid of the tangles and try again.
If the hook gets stuck it means one of two things is happening:
1) you didn't properly hook your hair and now it's tangling while you're trying to feed it through
or
2) you've hooked too much hair and it's formed a tangled mess inside the curlformer.
Either way it's bad, but the damage can be minimal if you don't try to force it through.
What happens if you're like me and try to force it through because you're pissed and stubborn you ask? You pull out a shit ton of hair and it hurts. No fun.
4. Make sure that your hair is the right amount of damp.
The magic behind these things is that they wrap your wet hair into the shape of ringlets and leave them there to dry that way. That means making sure that your hair isn't too wet or too dry is key. What I do is put all my Curlformers in when my hair is dry and then spritz my whole head with water from a spray bottle. This is ensures that all my hair will have the same amount of wetness while also making my hair only as damp as it needs to be to manipulate the shape of my hair.
5. Sleeping in these things is the WORST.
Seriously. I can't recall a time that I've ever been more uncomfortable that wasn't due to physical illness or pain. Almost every girl on youtube said that they slept in theirs and that it was uncomfortable, but bearable. They are FUCKING liars. I'm sure they meant well, but for reals, they must be robots or some kind of super humans because it's absolutely miserable.
I finished putting them in at about midnight and tried to go to sleep, and there's really no way to get comfortable. If you lay directly on them, you're resting your head on hard plastic. If you try to pull them up or off to one side and rest your head beside them, it yanks the shit out of your hair. I managed to fall asleep eventually, but woke up every time I moved my head. Finally at about 4:30am I said fuck it, dragged myself out of bed and removed all 40 of them. I just couldn't do it anymore.
And it sucks because sleeping on them would be great for shaving time off the process, which brings me to my next nugget of wisdom...
6. They may not need heat, but you may want to use heat.
I don't know about you guys, but I rarely have 3 or 4 hours to waste doing my hair. And yes, I know, you're able to do other things when these things do their thing (like cleaning, or your make-up, etc.). But with the exception of my wedding day (and almost every Halloween), I've NEVER needed more than an hour or so to get ready for anything. So now whenever I use these (after my 4am debacle I mean), I use a soft hood attachment for my hair dryer. It's actually made by the same people that make the real Curlformers. It's really big so you're able to fit all of them inside, and it attaches to almost any hairdryer. And it's the tits. It only takes about a half hour to dry my whole head, which is way faster than just waiting around for it to dry.
7. Like any other curling technique, you NEED to use the right products.
My hair is thick, straight and stubborn. It has a hard time holding curl on a normal day, so you can only imagine the horrific time I've been having with this god damned Virginia humidity. It happened last week. I spent about an hour putting them into my hair, another 30 minutes drying them, and 5 minutes taking them out. My curls were gone in less than 10 minutes, and I could have killed someone. That is A LOT of time to waste you guys, so PLEASE make sure you find a good curl booster or hair spray that will help them keep their shape.
But here's the bottom line:
Now that I've warned you about some of the problems that you are bound to come across, let me just say that
these things really do work.
^^ 4:30am. Thank god you can't see my face
^^ 4:30am. No idea how I managed a smile this early in the morning...
^^My first successful attempt with the hood dryer.
Only did half my head to show the before and after ;)
So yeah.
I know that this post has been crazy long but I really wanted to inform you guys about some of the problems I encountered so that you could avoid them when trying these out. These are actually really cool and easy to use once you get the hang of it, and I don't want anyone to get discouraged because it takes time to perfect. Now that I know how to use them, I absolutely love these things and will probably invest in another set in the near future (the REAL ones this time ;)
I don't even know why or how but somehow I started watching old music videos on the youtube. What should have been a 5 minute recess has escalated into an hour long trek to rediscover ALL of my pre-teen feels. And dudes, they are FOR REALS.
So today, I'm going to share a song that I played on repeat for DAYS when I was a kid.
"The One" by The Backstreet Boys
Seriously guys, I was a child obsessed. I remember that I was listening to my Millennium album (but only the first three songs, because...you know, those were the coolest) when I had to leave my room for some reason (important 10 year old stuff I'm sure) and I came back and this song was playing.
And something about it clicked in my brain and I couldn't get enough. I would listen to it over and over, pretending that if I ever became famous and had my own TV show that it would be the theme song (seriously guys I was the coolest).
So today, I bestow the nostalgia onto you :) Also see "Oops! I Did It Again", "Bye Bye Bye" or any late 90s early 2000s song with a famous choreographed dance. Those were ma jams ;)
